Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Old Prospector's Lesson :)

The Old Prospector's Lesson
(source unknown)

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old
tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to
clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule
to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his
face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in
one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old
man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and
said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old
fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping
around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing,
holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man
turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked
both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the
sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost
deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer
and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he
quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always
wanted to."

There are two lessons for us all here:
  1. Don't waste ammunition.
  2. Don't mess with old people.
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1 comment:

deMontjoie said...

Old Joe the Miner rode into town after a couple lonely months in the hills prospecting. After quenching his powerful thirst in the small town's only bar, he asked the barkeep if there was anything in the lines of female companionship to be had in the town. The barkeep sadly shook his head, reporting that the town's only hooker had moved away last month. But, he said, pointing to the Chinese man sweeping the other end of the bar, old Chow-Fat could help you out in that regard if you was so inclined. Appalled, Old Joe disclaimed that "I don't go that way!" and proceeded to order another drink that he sipped in sullen silence.
After a few minutes of contemplating his sexual frustration, Old Joe again broached the subject to the barkeep in whispered tones: "If I was to take you-all up on using Chow-Fat, exactly who-all would have to know about it?" "Well", said the barkeep, "there would be you, me, Chow-Fat of course, plus Big Larry and Fred the Blacksmith." "WHAT!" yelled Old Joe, "When did Larry and Fred come into the picture?"

"Well", said the barkeep, "they're to help hold-down Chow-Fat, of course. 'Cause he don't go that way either."